Inching Along

Inching Along
March 7, 2015

This story about penises trended on top of news aggregators all last week. After seeing the story picked up in The Huffington Post, CNN, The Guardian, and many other reputable outlets, I, with some trepidation, decided, with tongue in cheek, to weigh in.

Rulers and tape measures got an extraordinary work out this week. Home construction project? Nope. The story published on the internet titled  "‘Am I Normal?’ Check Biggest Study Yet Of Penis Size, Among 15,000 Men". Source: BJU International

Kim Kardashian thought she could break the Internet with a photo of her silky- smooth abnormally? big butt. Her megalomaniacal aspiration got topped by the posting of the story of another body part, the only one of more interest to men than Kim’s ass. Their penises.

There isn’t a man alive who hasn’t considered the size of his penis. And compared it to others he sees in locker rooms or porn sites. It must be noted that every porn site I checked (of course done for research purposes of writing this post) has sidebars telling men how to get bigger penises. The bigger your penis, the bigger your masculinity quotient, the thinking goes. And by extension, the bigger thrill you’ll give the woman you sleep with.

With a touch of envy, I see that I don’t measure up to the mega-penises on display in porn sites. I’ve showered in men's locker rooms from my high school football days to the health club days of the present. I’ve seen the range of equipment from pretty big to pretty small. According to the story data and my own eyes, I’m in the normal range. And of course I pulled out a ruler to see how I measured up. The fact that I fit along the graph in the normal curve doesn’t mean I wouldn't still like to sport an extra inch or so.

Freud thought penis envy (this version of “Penis Envy” was published in February 2012 on PsychologyToday.com and removed two weeks later after public controversy!) was a woman’s envy that she didn’t have a penis.

Hell no, Siggy. It’s all about OUR penises. We are walking, talking penises. We parade them around. We play with them. We do everything but put them in puppet shows, but now that I think of it, some guys undoubtedly have.

We love it when a woman shows delight in contact with them. It’s a good thing that libido is so potent that when we’re in its full grasp, the only thing we think about is having our penises in her somewhere. We think the size of our penises is a big deal. What women think is a mystery.

The best outcome for small penis anxiety is to use the old Avis car rental slogan - “We Try Harder.” Pun intended.

Comments

[Ann Baker]

Ahhhh pt, " tis not the size of the weapon, but the ability to us it well and achieve success for ALL concerned ! "

[Jeff]

If one's junk is characterized as a weapon, wouldn't that denote more length & girth than average?

[Paul A. Tamburello, Jr. aka pt at large]

I am more in the "make love, not war" camp so comparisons to weapons is a bit of a stretch for me.

[Shelley]

Hey, PT -

There was a show, touring through Boston years ago, called “Puppetry of the Penis”, I believe. A work colleague, who was curious, told me about it (10 years ago maybe?) but wasn’t curious - or brave - enough to actually check it out. So, yes, you’re quite correct to say that “some guys undoubtedly have”!

[Paul A. Tamburello, Jr. aka pt at large]

That is so great...I was just riffing about the puppets but whoa, Nelly... you're right - and here's the web site to prove it!
http://www.puppetryofthepenis.com
What a hoot, this definitely adds to the conversation~