Trying to remain civil when on the phone with a rude telemarketer is a challenge. I did my best but, as you see, it did not work. This call was unparalleled in the annals of telemarketing calls. Warning: lots of F bombs...none of them mine.
Friday, May 15, 2015: 3 PM
Ring…ring…ring…my home phone rings.
"Hello, this is Rachel at cardholder services, calling in reference to your current credit card account. There are no problems currently with your account. It is urgent that you contact us concerning your eligibility for lowering your interest rates to as little as 6.9%. Your eligibility expires shortly, so please consider this your final notice. Press the number one on your telephone now, to speak with a live operator and lower your interest rates. Thank you."
This was my umpteenth call from Rachel in the past year. Instead of hanging up, I pressed the number one.
Agent, not identifying himself, answers.
“Hello, would you please do me a favor and remove me from your call list?” says I.
“No, I won’t remove you from the list.”
“Excuse me?”
“No, I won’t remove you from the list.”
“Did you just say you would not remove me from the call list?
“I won’t remove you from the list.”
“Thank you. Will you please remove me from your call list?
“No, I won’t remove you from the call list.”
“Thank you. Will you please remove me from your call list?
“No, I won’t remove you from the list.”
“There’s a law about these calls, I can ask to be taken off the list.”
“I won’t take you off the list.”
“Please take me off the list.
“Fuck you.”
“Excuse me…?”
“Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you…”
“I see. Will you take me off the call list now.”
““Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you…”
“Do you have a supervisor?”
“Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you…”
“Please connect me with your supervisor.”
“Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you…”
“Now that you made yourself clear, please remove me from the call list.”
“Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you…”
“You have quit a range of vocabulary.”
“Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you…”
“Is this the way you respond to everyone asking to be removed from the list?”
“Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you…”
“You must get rewards for customer service.”
“Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you…”
“Is that the mouth you kiss your mother with?”
And I hung up. Steamed. But unaccountably amused by the trajectory of the insane smutty Kafka-esque dialogue. And that I got the last word.
Robocalls are a plague. Representatives of every company I’ve asked to move my number to the “Do Not Call” list oblige.
Rachel apparently flies above the FCC radar. This link from Marketplace in April 2013 is the most helpful information I found about how to deal with Rachel and Mr. Fuck You.
http://www.marketplace.org/topics/tech/hi-rachel-avoiding-robocall-scams
The last paragraph in the link reads:
"When you hear a prerecorded message and it's a sales pitch, just hang up the phone. Do not press 1, do not press 2 to get yourself removed from the list. These calls are illegal in the first place, so it's unlikely that somebody will actually be creating a list and not calling you back the second time. In fact we suspect that a lot of times they're just trying to identify which numbers are working telephone numbers and you might be added to lists and get more robocalls," says Daffan. "The one thing that consumers can do and that we really encourage is report these calls to the Federal Trade Commission at https://www.donotcall.gov .Those reports are really crucial to us in our targeting and law enforcement efforts."
I’m reporting the call to the FCC. I’m fairly certain no one will reply with an F bomb. And in case the NSA was tapping the call I hope they RSVP to Rachel ASAP.
PS
more from FCC https://www.fcc.gov/guides/robocalls
I would have been so steaming mad! Wow! That’s why I never answer my phone unless it comes up with a name that I know. Everyone else can go pound sand.
Posted by: Neal Skorka | May 18, 2015 at 03:12 PM
Oh, yes, Neal,
I was indeed steamed, could not retrieve the number he called from from my phone (i answered with headset on, didn't have the number in front of me, lesson learned). After reading the Marketwatch post, realized it would have been futile, maybe even counter productive to call back... so what's a blogger to do? Write about it! And give advice how to deal with Rachel.
Go pound sand would be the most charitable thing I could have said to her!
Posted by: Paul A. Tamburello, Jr. aka pt at large | May 18, 2015 at 03:18 PM
Just re-registered after reading this! Ha ha, what a conversation.
Posted by: Diana C. D. | May 18, 2015 at 03:20 PM
Glad the story gave you the heads up to re-register for Do Not Call, that was part of the reason I wrote the post.
Posted by: Paul A. Tamburello, Jr. aka pt at large | May 18, 2015 at 03:40 PM
Hi Paul
That was unbelievable.
Posted by: Bill Pignato | May 18, 2015 at 10:32 PM
Bill,
You can't make stuff like this up, can you.I filed a complaint with the FCC today, included a link to the blog post.
Posted by: Paul A. Tamburello, Jr. aka pt at large | May 18, 2015 at 10:33 PM
Hysterical...if it were not true!!! Just last week, I had the same experience with this same type of credit card call . I, too, decided to end this nonsense and pressed 1 to speak with a human and requested to have my number removed from their list. Before I even finished my request, the "human" slammed down the receiver. I guess I was fortunate I didn't get Rachel of the F-bombs!!! I then re-registered with Do Not Call site but I think the lull of no more calls is very temporary!
Posted by: Joanne Yeomans | May 19, 2015 at 12:07 PM
Hi Joanne
More information about "Rachel" and copycats.This ABC News 2015 story ends with " ...So report them! Robocalls are now illegal without your written consent and the same is true with political robocalls to your cell phones. As these payments prove, the FTC does investigate them."
http://abcnews.go.com/Business/rachel-cardholder-services-coughs-refunds/story?id=28282514
Glad you re registered, i also recommend you report the call. It's not a total guarantee to rid yourself of copycats but it is a way to keep the heat on these bad actors. Thanks for weighing in!
Here's the link to report these calls
https://www.donotcall.gov
Posted by: Paul A. Tamburello, Jr. aka pt at large | May 19, 2015 at 04:35 PM