WHAAATT!?
C'mon, Willie...
I was startled then downright dismayed...two seconds into a commercial break on CNN, here you come singing "You Were Always On My Mind." for a Fed Ex commercial…."Willie Nelson x FedEx | Delivering for Earth"
What are you thinking?
Your voice belongs in lots of places, from Farm Aid that you founded in 1985 to Honky Tonk road houses, but this Fed Ex business is a bridge too far.
The only damn thing that will make me feel at all better is if every penny Fed Ex pays you goes straight to the United States Revenuers to pay for your federal taxes this year. We all remember what happened in 1990 when the IRS raided your home, seized your possessions and auctioned them off to pay a $16.7 million dollar tax debt.
You've never been short on telling us what's on your mind. I'm not entitled to do anything but listen to your vast and adventurous catalog of songs but I sure would like to know why oh why you agreed to hitch your wagon to Fed Ex.
You support environment causes and farmers who depend on a stable environment.
The Fed Ex commercial touts its commitment to reducing its carbon imprint but hey, FedEx had more than 200,000 motorized vehicles in its fleet in 2019. To its credit it added 2944 electric vehicles that included delivery trucks, forklifts and airport ground service equipment.
Fine and dandy, but FedEx's airline cargo division boasts a huge fleet of 691 aircraft, twice as many as Ryanair, Europe's largest airline, and nearly three times as many as British Airways.as of 2017. In 2018, it's estimated that global aviation – which includes both passenger and freight – emitted 1.04 billion tonnes of CO2. This represented 2.5% of total CO2 emissions in 2018. Aviation emissions have doubled since the mid-1980s. That ain't hay.
As my dear readers have figured out after watching tons of hours of TV since March 2020, the songs pitched to sell product aim for our hearts then make a break our our wallets or try to improve our opinion of the aspirations of the corporation.
Hearing a song by Willie or Smokey Robinson transports us to the first time we heard it, who we were with, what we were doing, and the world in which we were living at the time... a cagey strategy to co-opt our buying choices by playing on my emotions.
Corporations began to capitalize it in 1926 when they knew most of America was tuned into their radios. Since March 2020 most of us have been glued to our TVs. Branding by using songs deeply embedded in our consciousness is a sneaky, powerful soft sell. Not fair. But effective on TV.
Willie, maybe Fed Ex delivers your monthly supply of weed.
For god's sake, grow your own.
PS
Amanpour & Company interview shows Willie's amazing memory
https://www.pbs.org/wnet/amanpour-and-company/video/legendary-musician-willie-nelson-his-letters-america-nie80g/
"Quite Enough of Calvin Trillin: 40 Years of Funny Stuff"
From the archives...CALVIN TRILLIN
Upon Reading In The Middle Of The Night
Don’t plan on reading "Quite Enough of Calvin Trillin: 40 Years of Funny Stuff" if you happen to be sleeping with someone. By the time you’re halfway through one of his Funny Stuff riffs, “Corrections” for example, you will have guffawed awake your (fill in one) girlfriend, wife, husband, boyfriend, family dog, children in the next room, who will probably not share your hilarity since it is 3:20 AM, an hour customarily reserved for sound repose.
You will quite possibly be greeted with sullen stares at the hour of normal reveille. Citing Trillin as a master of dry, urbane, witty humor who should be on any intelligent reader’s list won’t get much traction. You will likely discover that your copy of said book has gone missing by nightfall.
It’s hard to believe a guy could have a writing voice so damn funny, slyly literate, and keep it going for forty years. His ‘stuff’ has appeared in The New Yorker, The Nation, and a bunch of books. Ordinarily when you see a list like this, you’re thinking, well those are high falutin’ places, he’s probably pretty stuffy. Wrong.
There are about two hundred bite sized essays and short zippy poems in the twenty sections of Funny Stuff – a few categories: “The Media – Liberal Elite and Otherwise”, “Tales Of A Clean Plate Ranger” (figure that one out), “High Society and Just Plain Rich People”, “Twenty Years Of Pols – One Poem Each”, “Family Matters”, “Beasts Of The Field, Fish Of The Sea, And Chiggers In The Tall Grass,” “English And Some Languages I Don’t Speak,” and “Foreigners.”
Ol’ Calvin can elevate everyday stuff into hilarity that makes you laugh out loud. A few titles: “People In Charge,” “Chicken A La King,” The Italian West Indies,” “Thoughts On Power Neck Wear,” “Economics, With Power Steering,” “Voodoo Economics Up Close,” “Social Questions From Aunt Rosie,” “T.S. Eliot And Me,” “Slip Covers Just Bloom In The Spring, Tra La,” “Holistic Heuristics,” “Killer Bagels,” “Molly and the V Chip,” “Losing China,” … the list goes on.
There are other authors I could add to this DNR (Do Not Read In The Middle Of The Night) list. Billy Collins comes to mind in the poetry department. I’m sure you have a list of your own books that if read during the hours in which you’re supposed to be collecting REM, can cause relational distress.
Remedies might include slipping down to the den or garage (where it’s likely your copy has been hidden) when you have the urge to read such books as a dark of night diversion. I could suggest that you never crack open Trillin’s book but caveat emptor. Once you do, it will be too late.
PS If you have doubt about Trillin's sense of humor, watch the clip of Calvin Trillin on The Daily Show. (If I were clever enough, I'd write a poem about it).
More Trillin...
http://www.npr.org/2011/09/09/140338165/an-anthology-and-a-life-full-of-funny-stuff
Daily Show with Jon Stewart
http://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2012/02/24/daily-circuit-calvin-trillin/
and
https://www.nytimes.com/2016/06/29/books/review-in-jackson-1964-calvin-trillin-reports-on-race.html
October 30, 2023 in Commentaries | Permalink | Comments (0)